Copyright © 2013 Mary Hughes
All rights reserved
Cliff’s scent, masculine and remembered. Cliff was not in the bed, but the tangy, brought
the present sharply into focus. A warm depression there letnext to
her know
he had stayedsaid they’d slept the night with her. here,
together. She smiled to herself.
Okay, then,[M2]
But
where was he? She got up to find him, dislodging a whiff her own
smell. Change of plans. Shower first, find Cliff after.
He
stuck his head ininto the bathroom
while she was taking a shower.
“As soon assoaping with some silky body wash. “When
you’re done
hereready, come on down to the
kitchen for some breakfast.” He left a steaming cup of coffee next to the
shower.
She
brought the empty cup down with her a short while later.
Cliff was setting out two bowls, spoons and some milk. He turned to
smilesmiled at her. “I’m afraid this is
Hannah’s day off. We’ll have to suffer with cold cereal.”
Vickie
scanned the boxes in the cupboard. “Hey, look—Fruit Loops! My favorite!” She
blushed. “Uh, I’ll bet you’re thinking I’m being a bit childish…”
Cliff
brought the box down calmly. “Would I have gone out and bought some if I
thought you were being childish?”
She
stared at him with saucer eyes. “You knew?”
He shrugged, opened
the box and poured cereal and milk for each of them and shrugged. .
“I thought it might be advisable to have something around you might like…for
breakfast.”
“Why,
you, you overbearing, egotistical…”—”
Vickie
sat down and shut up. Conceited man, she thought. Conceited, wonderful man.
“So,”
Cliff said as he took the seat across from her, “I thought we could maybe go
shopping today.”
Vickie
munched Fruit Loops. “What about the project?”
“Well,
I have heard
the zoo here is the best in the Mid‑ westMidwest.”
“That
sounds like fun.”
“Fun—what
a concept.”
“Now,
Cliff, sarcasm doesn’t suit you. I’d like to go
to theHow about
[M5] theme park today, and we can visit the zoo
tomorrow. Can? Oh…can we stop by
my apartment and get a change of clothes? And maybe my car?”
The
day at the theme park was lovely. For all his sophistication, Cliff was just like
aapproached both rides and lines little
boy at heart, wandering around the park with wide
eyes, laughing in delight on the rides. . She was amused to watch him [M6] trywhen he tried every
new food stand, and was touched when he gavewon
her a plush teddy bear he’d won at the ring‑toss.
They
spent the night at his house again. A wonderful night, filled with talk and
love‑making—and a little sleep.
The
next day they spent at the zoo. Vickie felt like they were a pair of children,
holding hands, oohing at the lions and laughing at the monkeys. He bought her
ice cream, and took her on the little train that ran through the zoo grounds. She amazed him inIn
the reptile house she amazed him with her extensive
knowledge of snakes, acquired from many years living with a younger brother. On
the way home, they stopped for pie and coffee, and talked about all sorts of
things. It
absolutely amazed her how much they had in common.
Too
soon, however, it was Monday morning, and time to go back to work. Cliff had a
breakfast meeting with a prospective employee, so Vickie arrived at the office
alone.
Tess
met her. “Well,“Are you all
packed, you lucky devil?”
“What
are you talking about?” Vickie brushed outsat down at her red‑ gold [M7] hairdesk and put her
purse in
her deskaway.
“You
and the boss and a sexy foreign location, that’s what I’m talking about. And
don’t pretend you don’t know about it. It’s been in the schedule for a week.”
“I
haven’t read the schedule for two weeks. I’ve been on ‘vacation.’“ ” Vickie
smiled. And what a vacation, Vickie thought with a smile. .
“So no, I don’t know about it. What sexy foreign location are we headed to, Chicago
“No,
you dip.
dipwad. The Middle
East ! The Arabian Peninsula !
The…”
“The
hotbed of unrest! The…” Realization hit her. Middle Yemen
“No,
he can’t!” She moaned, sank into her chair and .” With a
moan, she covered her face with her hands.
Tess
shook her shoulders. “Vickie, what’s wrong? Are you okay?
What is it?”
Vickie
simply shook her head with a terse motion. .
Tess waited for a long moment, then. When Vickie
continued to moan she left the office, shutting the door quietly
behind her.
She
tried to remember the little boy Cliff must have been, small, defenseless,
misunderstood.
Or had
he lied about that, too?
Vickie
had thought she finally knew Cliff. But, but
she didn’t know him at all. There was Even putting
the best face on it, that some of what he’d told her was true, meant a
part of him, the was a stranger. The
part that negotiated with Fahrrad and ran away for two months without
explanation and dealt with Kulinahr as a head of state rather than a
person.
As
she waited for Cliff to arrive at the office, she gradually painted him deeper
into the role of cunning seducer, conniving businessman. She had been right all
along,
it. It was only when he touched her body
that her head had been outvoted. She should have paid attention to her head. She
knew how bad office romances were. She should have listened.
The
door flew open, startling her. Cliff strode in, smiling. She stood up and looked at him,drank in
the sight of him…and her head was fooled again. She
mentally slapped herself with his damn self‑assurance triggering
all the feelings of professional inadequacy and personal vulnerability, and she felt[M8] . He’d used. her. She let him have itjumped to her
feet.
“How
could you even think I would go to Middle Yemen after what happened there? How
dare you?”
He
looked as though she had slammed her fist in his gut. The impostor, trying to
play on her sympathies.
“We’ve
been working on Fahrrad’s system all along, haven’t we? You dirty liar. You know what he’s planning, you. You
know he’ll only use the money for upheaval and
cruelty and suppression, but you don’t care, do you? All you can see is the
profit, the bottom line. Well, here’s the bottom line from me, Mister. .
Go. Get out! Good riddance!”.” She obstinately refused to
acknowledge she was shooing him out of his own company.
He
closed the door gently and stood in front of it. “Please don’t jump to
conclusions just yet, Vickie. . I only finalized
the deal two weeks ago. I would have told you sooner but you were on vacation, after all. .
And the bank version is still viable…”—”
He
moved closer, cautiously. “It’s not what you think.”
She
retreated behind her desk, where she stood, trembling. “What is it, then? Oh, no, wait.
“You expect me to trust you, right? ?
Like I trusted you for the past three months? Like I trusted you this weekend?”
Like I trusted Ron?
[M1]The
sun streaming is a stronger noun/verb to start the scene than she awoke.
[M2]I
was taught that the paragraph leads to the statement with the most impact, that
the important sentence is at the end. Well, yeah but. Many people sample the
beginning of a parargraph but if it doesn't grab them, will skip it. If you put
important information at the end, MANY PEOPLE WILL MISS IT.
[M3]Dialog
should sound natural but convey deeper meaning that real chatter would.
[M4]I
did an awful lot of c'mon Vickies. Dunno why.
[M5]Here
is where I changed dialog from natural chatter to natural-sounding but sharper.
[M6]watch
is a filter word. Much better to catapult right to her being amused.
[M7]Eek.
No reason for her to notice her red-gold hair.
[M8]Felt.
Filter word. Jump right to what she's feeling. The reader will get that she's
the one feeling it, and that she's feeling used, not seeing or hearing it.
