Copyright © 2013 Mary Hughes
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He frowned. “Vickie,
I feel like I’m arguing against the unknown. a black box. What’s
really bothering you?”
She pounded on
the desk as if that could equalize the pain. “I have some
professional pride, you know, and a hell of a lot more professional
responsibility than you do. Just because
. You may think you’re sotoo
powerful,
you think to fail,
that you can back whoever you want, that you don’t have any
responsibility. Well you may not, but
I do. don’t.
I am not going to Middle Yemen.”
Cliff’s eyes
had
become unreadablewent stony, his big body stiff. “I’m
sorry you don’t trust me, but maybe you don’t know me that well. I thought
after this weekend perhaps you might.” …”
He looked
away and for a moment his face softened. Then his lips tightened and he [M3] turned back to the door. . “Although I
still don’t think you’ve told me what’s really on your mind.” He opened the door. “Nonetheless,. Doesn’t matter. I
musthave to
go to Middle Yemen. Good bye, Vickie.” He turnedstrode
to leavethe door.
“No,” she!” She screamed. it. “You’re not leaving me again.”
She grabbed her purseBefore he
could open the door she ran between and pushed furiously against
his broad chest. HeShe barely
moved him but he backed off, but under his own
power.[M4]
“What
do you mean?”
“You
know what I mean. I told you. When I first told you I wouldn’t work on a
project for Fahrrad, and you didn’t care, you didn’t care what he’d done to me,
you only cared about your profit margin. So you left, and had your secretary lie
to me. Rather than talk it over, rather than honoring my feelings, [M5] you left.” Her voice faltered. “Just like Ron.” And then a
whisper. “I told you.”
His
fingers slid under her chin but she jerked away. “No,“Don’t you can’t get me
that way again. I know better nowdare,
Mr. Hawkesclyffe. IfDon’t
you can’t
dare short circuit my reason with her, talk to
her body.” seduction.” Her voice became strident;
she couldn’t help it.
“Did
Ron treat you that way?” he asked hesitantly.
She
forced a laugh.
“Naturally.
I should have known nobody would want me for me. Why would anyone actually care about me when
they could have my mind and call it professional and have my body and call it
love.” [M6] “What do you think?” She shrugged. “Go
to Middle Yemen, then. . But this time I’m
leaving too. If you don’t have to be responsible, neither do I.”
He
held his hands out in a pleading gesture. “Be responsible for what?”
She answered as if
she hadn’t heardshook her head. “Don’t worry about
firing me. I quit.”
“Vickie. I don’t suppose wait.” He
cupped her face with both hands and stared deep into her eyes. “Would
it would
help if I told you II’m falling in love
with you?”[M7]
Her eyes werebody went
cold. “You want me to believe that, too? Hey, “Ron told me he
loved me
every. Every day. He sent me a dozen roses
for every birthday and every Valentine’s Day. It’s the easy way out, Cliff, just like running
out. Only this time, I’m leaving youUntil I didn’t
do what he wanted. What he really loved was his image of me, not me. Goodbye.”
She tookgot
her purse and strode out, dignity carrying her as far as her car. She unlockedOnce inside with
the door,
got in, and locked, she collapsed,
crying. He wasn’t coming. She had been right,She’d really
thought that Cliff was different. Not that they’d agree about everything but
that he hadn’t meant it, he didn’t wantwould listen
to her,
and they’d work things out, he.
No, time to go. She turned the key and started out.
She didn’t care about her.
She
got back to her apartment, exhausted. She cried a little, but nothing felt
right. She made herself a cup of tea, and when the phone rang, she jumped a
mile. It was just a phonePhone
marketer. She
hung up on him.
What
was wrong? It couldn’t be how she had handled Cliff. with her? She should be exultant over that. .
At last, she had seen through a man before he could hurt her too much, before he
hurt her irreparably. . She had even walked out on him for a
change. No, that couldn’tShe should
be it. triumphant.
Yes, that was
it. Simple need to finish what I set out to do.’
Followed
immediately by dismay. She’d have to go back.
She
wouldn’t go to Middle Yemen, of course, but she would finish her task at
Hawkesclyffe Computers. She picked up thegot her phone and dialed. The
operator answered.called John. It went to voicemail.
Shock made Vickie press end call. Cliff
is out
of town on business. Can I connect you
to his personal assistant?”
Still, she needed to get this over with.
She picked up the phone again, reluctantly redialing.
She was
startled, but automatically said, “It’s Vickie.”
“Vickie,
glad to hear from you.” His voice was a bit strained.
“Look,
I don’t want to go into detail. Is Cliff theregone yet?”
“I’m
sorry, Vickie,
heyes. He left me a few instructions
and slammed out of here. He’s half‑wayhalfway to Middle
Yemen if he’s still going at the same rate. And,” he.” He hesitated, “he. “He
said something
about you quitting?”quit.”
“Yeah,
well, I said it’s a long story. But I’m not quitting. I don’t quit a job before it’s finished.”
“Sure. You’re in charge.”
Right. I’m in charge. She hung up
the phone after saying good bye to John.
`goodbye to John. If she really were in charge, the
next press release would read “The Hawkesclyffe Computer Company
announced in a surprise move today that they will no longer be doing business
in Middle Yemen. Would the president of the firm please return at once to the
United States.’ Sure she
was in charge..”
Sure, she was in charge.
Chapter 12Twelve
Almost as if she hadn’t walked away soon enough.
Or maybe it was simply because she hadn’t cut ties
completely. She’d come back to do the job to his company. He was everywhere,
from the company pictures on the walls to the ghost of her intentions
first thing that him at the half-dozen restaurants she frequented
for lunch.
So obviously, she needed to make a clean break.
Monday. “ she marched
into John’s office. “We deliver the HCC300 in two weeks. I’m
leaving once
the HCC300 is delivered, John.” immediately
after that.”
It was supposed to be a catharsis; instead
it felt flat.
“But Cliff is expecting to talk with you
when he gets back. He’s very impressed
with your work here, and I know he’d like you to stay.”
John’s expression conveyed his sympathy. “He had
to go, Vickie.”
“Look, I understand what you’re thinking.” , really I
do.” He spread his hands in a gesture of appeal. “But there are
some other
thingsfactors you should know about.”[M10]
“Like
how much profit he’ll make?” Vickie arched an eyebrow.
[M1]Name
calling doesn't work with these characters.
[M2]I
have to work against going from the starting argument to the conclusion without
putting the steps in between. Cause, then
effect. So important.
[M3]I
also continue to expand my repertoire of ways to show what a character is
feeling, rather than coming right out and saying it.
[M4]This
didn't flow, timing-wise
[M5]I
know what she means, but there's a backload of issues on that one statement. I
think it's easier to follow this way. Besides, in a real argument between
adults, it's best to say "when you do [specific thing], I feel
[sad/mad/glad/afraid/hurt]." When I write, I try not to have the
characters too unhealthy.
[M6]yikes.
Is it me, or is this bloated prose?
[M7]This
needed more preparation.
[M8]She
wants him to work things out but when he runs after her to do so, she speeds
away? While I sympathize with a character who has that much fear, that's not
where Vickie is. She'd have worked it out and bang, that would have been end of
story. Better to have her drive away without seeing him. That way the reader
knows Cliff's the real deal, even if Vickie's not so sure yet.
[M9]Ah,
technology. Remember curly phone cords?
[M10]Dunno
if its me or getting up to early to edit, but this seemed to need a lot of
work. Point of view shifted subtly between Vicky and John, and a lot of wordy
exchanges saying what I meant but not really showing it.
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